he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's never too late to be topless.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
