Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's the barista slut.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
