We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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