idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
