It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
