No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
