so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And then my night got REAL pukey
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
