Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
