"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
