forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
