question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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