so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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