I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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