sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
