I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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