Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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