we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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