If i come over, it means nothing
I'm gonna have a badass scar
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
