After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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