Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
