im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
