have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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