i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
