i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
