Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I die, sorry about rent.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
