just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
