He kissed a someone with a penis
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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