I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
MIDGETS
????
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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