Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
