then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
