As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
