i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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