is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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