Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
