So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
