I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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