The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
