also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize