I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
