Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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