Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
