i permit you to call me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
