i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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