I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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