i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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