I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
