he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
