Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
