I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize