I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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