Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
