the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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