So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
